Mental & Emotional Corner: Unrequited Love

So, before I start writing about this sensitive topic, there must be some of your friends or even you who already know what it is and how it feels. I know it sucks but I want to elaborate more about it.


Based on medical daily, unrequited love has been known since Ancient Egypt, where a hieroglyph for love was translated to “long desire”. Unrequited love is often called “one-sided love” which means only one person, the “lover”, who has affection to the “loved one” or the “rejecter”. The lover would be in pain when their love become unrequited love.

In 2012, there is a study called “Current Directions in Psychological Science” found that something like broken heart was processed in the same component of brain that handles your sensory component of physical pain. Most of the time, people would choose to endure physical pain rather than psychological pain because it often triggers that awful feeling when that memory surface again.

Just like the tree, when you cut or slice the branches, they will grow denser than before. We, as a part of living being, could use those scars to transform us to be a better person. I make it sound so easy like flipping my hands. On the contrary, it’s terribly hard but I want to make sure that everyone in this world can get through that, just be patient.

We are often directed to see the story of unrequited love from the lover’s point of view but we never want to see it from the rejecter’s point of view. The first studies about two sides of unrequited love showed that the pain afflicts the rejecter too. Moreover, the rejecter is the good friend of the lover. It makes the rejecter want to avoid the lover but they can’t. They could only sugarcoat the rejection with some conciliatory words so it won’t hurt the lover’s feeling.

“Try to see a bigger picture and turn those bad experiences in ways that could be useful for your personal growth”

The first thing that has to come to your mind when you experience unrequited love is you are an exceptional being, there will be someone else who is worthy of your love, just be patient and don’t you push yourself too far because it will bounce back harder.

Credit: Medicaldaily.comNew York Times

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