Mental & Emotional Corner: Forced to Love

In this post, I’m going to talk about being forced to love. Many people asked me if it is possible and I told them it’s a common thing but it’s well hidden.

The first and the only thing, that matters, is love can’t be forced, either it’s for something or someone. We can’t pretend we love studying while we actually love playing games. We can pretend to love something or someone but it will somehow show us the fact that we don’t actually love it.

I had a friend, that will remain nameless in this post, who was forced to love a girl he doesn’t love by the society. Peer pressure was the criminal on his case.

He was single for sometime and he was afraid that he will be labeled as gay by the society. Nobody wants to be labeled. Although he doesn’t love the girl, he was going out with the girl until they become couple for sometimes. He likes being cool so he forced himself going out with a girl she doesn’t like.

Then I asked him, “Are you happy now that you have a girlfriend?”

“Not really, it’s just i love Alyssa but she is seeing someone, so that won’t workout anyhow. Geez, I really like her so much that I would jump in front of a train for her. I am desperate for her.” he answered. My friend is a guy that won’t look at anyone if he has fallen in love for one girl.

He treated his so-called-girlfriend with “love” but he said that he was afraid that she would be hurt if she knows the truth so he pretended to be someone he isn’t.

“Aren’t you tired wearing a mask?” I asked him.

“I am so tired, I have to pretend all the time. I did everything romantic so everyone else would think I am in love with her, but the truth is I don’t even like her. Her personality is superb and she is actually a really good girl, but I just can’t lie to myself anymore, I loved Alyssa not her, so last Tuesday, I broke up with her.” He explained.

“What? Are you serious? What did you tell her? What’s her reaction?” I asked.

“She cried all night and said that she loved me repeatedly. At that time, I felt so guilty for lying to her and I was pitying her, but I told her that she would be happier without me. She could find the one that won’t lie to her.” he answered.

“Luckily, she won’t be your wife or you guys will live in hell the rest of your life, but I really felt bad for her.” I said.

“Yeah, one day I will be with the one I love, I don’t know when but I will wait patiently, I don’t care what society says to me, It wasn’t worth it.” he said.

From his experience, I learned that whatever society tells you, look back and ask yourself, do you love it? Is it the right thing to do? Are you scared what people will think about you? Is it worth it? Don’t force yourself doing something or loving someone you don’t like. Negative comments will come flooding your ears and bullies are ready to knock you down hard, but stand still and be consistent if you don’t like it, because IT’S YOUR LIFE not theirs.

“It isn’t worth it to sacrifice your happiness only to please everyone else” – AWD, 2015

Credit: Naked Science, Fishersnthered

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2 thoughts on “Mental & Emotional Corner: Forced to Love

  1. Love is something you get for free from others. But, if you can see in other perspective, i guess, your friend isn’t ready for a new love because his feet was still on the past. And the people who stayed in the past, will never ready for a new one even the new one is perfect, the problem is he just couldn’t see the perfectness.

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    1. The thing is many of us can’t easily forget the past just like that, some of us need time, others need space. Never could they see the perfection of the new love, because they don’t see it as love. You can like the person, but it doesn’t mean you love the person. There is a huge difference between love at first sight and learning to love. I am the living proof.

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