Mental & Emotional Corner: Do You Love or Fear?

Love or Fear? Who is running your business?

Weeks ago, I went to have a sharing session in SCTV Tower, Central Jakarta. The sharing session took place in a new established community called Sane Step Community. This community welcomes all people who really wants to taste the fresh water after spending time in the desert of life. Who really seek refuge after depressing moments in their life. In this session, the community welcomed a great mentor, Mr. Gobind Vashdev (Gobind Vashdev Official Site – Home), to speak about Love and Compassion on Valentine’s Day.


Mr. Vashdev shared a lot of things about Love and Compassion, but today I would write about What is the opposite of Love? Many people would answer “Hatred” to this question but actually Mr. Vashdev told us that the opposite of Love is Fear. For the introductory example, he asked us, “Do you really go to church because you love God or because you are afraid that you’ll be damned and thrown into a fathomless pit of eternal pain, Hell?”. I felt my nape hair stood up, don’t know it’s because I felt cold in that room or shot by those words. What drives you when you go to church? Love or Fear?


We were born and nurtured with love, so we are actually the love itself. When we were infant, our parents showered us with love and blessings. So, in that state, only love existed. No fear. When we grow up, there are countless factors that injected us with fear. Therefore, we often mistaken fear as loving too much. “I want her to stay, I don’t want to lose her.” Do you love her, or do you love your own thought of loving her? Do you fear once she goes away, your needs couldn’t be fulfilled?


A human is not a property, even your husband or wife. They can’t be bought by anything. Even marriage status is actually only a commitment for them to stay together, building a family but it doesn’t mean you own the person. You only own yourself. Loving is far different from ownership.

Loving is about letting go. Letting go is so hard because we fear; back to our own ego. We don’t realize we tend to love our ego and make love as a mask to conquer the fear. Loving is to let go of our own ego first then focus on all living being on earth.

When you take something with your hand, you have to make quite an effort to do that right? But, when you let go of that something in your hand, the effort will actually be easier than grabbing something, but why is it so hard to let go? because from young, we were already  programmed to hold on to something.

You can conduct a self-instropection in every aspect of your life in the morning while having your breakfast and sipping your coffee, do you actually love or fear about something? When you have sorted them out, you will know what to let go. It takes time to go over them and to let go, but practices make perfect. I believe someday you can let go of something you’ve been holding on too tight.

Credit: Google Images.

One thought on “Mental & Emotional Corner: Do You Love or Fear?

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