Hey guys! Today, i would like to share a story. It’s a fictional story. Despite the intensity, I figured out that most of us, humans, would have at least feel this once in their life. Here’s the story:
My name is Trevor. I am 170 cm guy with glasses and quite a big slim body like those of swimmers. People says I’m cute and handsome. Some says I’m hot as hell and they want to have my baby. I was kind of living my life trying to be as what those people says but not the baby part obviously. I don’t want to be a father at this young age. Despite my appearance, I was actually a simple nice guy who loves reading, singing, and travelling. One day, I met a girl who caught me just like that, in just second, she took my heart away.
Her name is Jessica. Jessica is a hottie but not a bitchy one. Apparently, she was very kind to her friends. She is a 160 cm girl with glasses too but sometimes she uses contacts. When she put off her glasses, she was the angel that I hoped for. I never see someone so cute and beautiful at the same time. She is not a very fashion forward girl with cropped top and mini skirts but rather she is just a casual type of girl; not really glamorous like all those spoiled rich girls. She also did spare some money to help those in need. The hard fact for me is that she has already got a boyfriend. I tried to live with that fact.
Long story short, she became my best friend; like a really close one. She usually spends one day with her boyfriend and another with me almost every weekend. We chatted every day through messaging apps. We were kind of flirty to each other but we realized that we had boundaries. Respecting each other in any ways possible. One day, I realized I fell in love too deep with her. These past weeks has been super hard for me. Problems were piling up like never before. This heart contained uninvited feelings for sometimes now. Feelings that shook up my life like crazy. I had never went down to this point in my life.
The fault was not hers but mine. I read wrong signals and I thought she, at least, had a decent feeling for me from going out together so often. Tiny bit of hope kept me persistently pursuing her. Although she had a boyfriend, I kept thinking If i was persistent enough, I would get her one day. One day, out of the blue, I told her that I love her but she told me that we better be friends rather than lover. Tons of beautiful memories that we made were flowing into my brains like a refreshing stream but at the end of it, all I felt was pain.
I stared at my phone blankly hoping that she somehow would chat me up just for some light talks as a friend but it was all my expectations only. The reality was cruel; she never chat me up first and somehow I felt that she has been keeping this distance between us. She told me that we would be fine, she would keep being my friend but why I don’t feel the gesture?
That feeling of rejection was like a spear that pierced through me. That pain and sadness costed me a lot of sleepless nights. I felt numb all over my body to the point where I didn’t want to do anything but enjoyed the feeling. The pain and emptiness stirred up my days. Songs couldn’t help me forget the pain. Delicious food didn’t bring up my appetite. I was tired of being hurt over and over again so I thought from backing off from the society would somehow help me to find myself again. I enjoyed my time alone in my room, thinking about what ifs, should ifs, and all those stupid imaginary things. Somehow, loneliness became my new friend and somehow it was addictive. At least, it would keep me from being hurt again.
Now, honestly, I’m afraid to love again. I realized that looks are just a bonus, what you have to find in a person is their inner beauty. I hope someday this pain would subside and there will be someone who will love me deeply as much as I love her. I’m just waiting, waiting for that day that I would meet her in a beautiful and happy place.
— The End —